Jewelry that is mindfully chosen with a generous and open wallet when you are engaged, sometimes doesn't go the distance. Then years later, as bills come rolling in for a new water heater, or taxes, or braces, we can feel a tad more frugal about a golden circle. 

A friend told me that she and her husband finally repaired their wedding rings. His had been cut off years ago when it became too tight, and he stopped wearing it. He just didn't want a replacement. He eventually had it repaired, but when he injured his hand it had to be taken off again. This time it broke into three pieces. Last fall they took them to a jeweler and although there are bumps where the breaks happened they are smooth on the inside. Their marriage is thirty four years strong, and has been through a fire as intense as the one used to bend metal. It felt good to them, to again have symbols with them every hour of every day that remind them of their promises. Theirs was a different grade of joy in slipping them on each other's fingers, than that of a bride and groom who are just beginning. 

My son's wedding ring was made of tungsten. He expected it to last a lifetime, but barely a year into his marriage it cracked in two as he was washing his hands. Snap. It was unwearable. They tried to get it replaced under warranty. No such luck But his wife felt the loss. She secretly bought a new one made of a stronger alloy. 

Last week when they flew across the country for his sister's wedding, they planned to climb to the top of Glencairn when they passed through our small town. As they stood at the windy tower looking out at the leafy horizon, she dropped to one knee.

"Will you marry me?" She pulled the new ring out of her pocket and slid it on his hand. He said yes. 

Sometimes couples who join our marriage groups do so out of curiosity. They want to try it out. Other times, they have friends in the group and look forward to spending an evening each week in their company. 

Other times they step through the door with the intention of reinforcing their relationship. Routines have replaced romance, and communication has broken off. 

Because some promises are worth making again.