How is it possible that I need another list? Really, I have been skipping around this communication stuff since my father took his first counseling course back in the seventies. He practiced on us. I knew what mirroring was before I first put my foot to the gas pedal of a car. 

And yet. 

Here I am squirming over yet another practical guide to communication, you know one of those nifty ten step summaries, and feeling like a loser. 

Oh yeah. I am supposed to be curious, not furious. Sounds like the author was eavesdropping in my head as I thrashed the person whom I am currently at odds with. The opener has me guilty with the suggestion to seek connection. That does not jive with the scenario I keep playing of the person asking to talk, and me coming back with a well timed jab.

"You ignored me. Now it's my turn." 

That's helpful. I actually want the person to come find me so that I can announce that I'm not interested. 

Another thought was to avoid blame. Stick to neutral descriptions. Rather than "You are incredibly selfish," try "I hear that you want x and I want y." Any possibilities for a compromise?"

The last one was some fluffy stuff about how we communicate in nonverbal ways too. Listening to the heart. I dunno. It sounds too hard for me just now. 

I kept looking for the idea about going to your friends and giving the case for how you are right and the other person is wrong. Because there will be a vote and I'm canvassing. But the author left that one off. I guess cause they wanted to keep it to ten. I'm sure it would have been number eleven.