There is a list of marriage friendly movies on the Caring for Marriage website. I try to add to it when I come across one that conveys strong relationships. But it had never occurred to me that watching them was comparable to therapy.

There is a study that suggests that it is. The researchers took three groups, one of which went to counseling, another watched movies and talked about them and the last was a control group. The first two halved the divorce rate over the next three years.

The list includes a dozen conversation starters, just to prime the pump. The point is to look at both positive and not so positive examples of relationships, and use them to reflect on your own.

John and I have watched next to no television together in our three dozen years. We were too busy starring in our own dramas. And comedies. But lately he joins me for West Wing. The other day we watched a couple that were thrashing at each other, and I was most annoyed at the woman for being manipulative. Meanwhile John was getting agitated at the man for blowing his own horn. He paused the show to rant. 

"He is showing off to convince her how right he is, which gives her no time or reason to love his wisdom." He paced. John paces when things get tense. "He is full of love of self intelligence." An unforgivable flaw, in his mind. 

John has become less inclined to peacock his knowledge as if he is the smartest person in the room. A quality that I find irresistible. Especially since he is sometimes the smartest person in the room. What has busied him more than accruing answers for the last decade is becoming the kindest person in the room. 

The list of movies includes a host that I have never seen. In fact I can only recall two that are in my own list. I guess I better make some popcorn.