People sometimes ask about the differences between the twins. Hope is an inch taller, and has a large freckle. Aurelle is teaching herself Spanish and is doing well. She serves ice cream for our movie watching parties wearing her apron which has all the colors of our favorite flavors. Hope often carries their phone. 

And there is money.

The chorister concert they are performing in this week requires a white top and black bottoms. I mentioned this on the way to school.

"Let's go shopping." Hope suggested. 

"Or to the thrift store." Aurelle added. 

When we last went on a clothes buying binge it was Aurelle who pared the selections down to two or three, while Hope extravagantly wanted seven dresses. It is not that thriftiness and generosity are inherently good or bad. But when you have a shared bank account, it can cause friction. 

Which they do. 

Many couples also face the rift of differing spending habits. If one is the main bread winner that can add another dimension in which to tug. He may consider eating out daily a routine expense, while she believes in cooking at home. Vacations can be stressful if one prefers five star hotels and the other is used to camping. 

We have a book and playing cards about money habits in our marriage library, the first of which goes for a penny online. Apparently the person selling it is a pincher. The cards make a game of understanding our choices and those of our partner. Not to fling blame but to see patterns. 

John and I have managed to steer clear of financial tornadoes. To the annoyance of our kids, when we traveled we were more likely to stop at a grocery store than a restaurant. We both have clothes that are thirty years old. Just in case. 

But there is an expense that we both agree on. Taking couples out to talk.