John and I went out with a couple a few months ago, and the conversation around the table was lively. We chatted about our kids, and jobs, and they told us the story of how they fell in love. It was dear to see how they treated one another with respect,  being careful not to put words in each other's mouths, or belittle one another. The sandwiches in front of us were delicious but the verbal exchange was more so. That kind of attention to good boundaries does not come without effort, and practice. 

There are people who invest the time to improve their skills at bowling, or lacrosse, or painting. They end up outclassing me on the lanes and on the field. 

Lately the tone around politics is less than cordial. People who would not think of denigrating their coworkers have at it when sharing the snippiest of insults about people they have never met. It is easy to get carried away in the avalanche of character assassination, and there appears to be no reason to resist. Everyone is slinging poison darts, and the targets have no recourse.

Sometimes I listen, or read, or watch the tirades. But the satisfaction gets old, like swallowing the tenth piece of overly sugary pecan pie. And the aftermath is regrettable. Not only that, it weakens my resolve to not behave that way with people I actually care about. Rehearsing acrimony inevitably leads to honing the skill.