The two year olds that I play with each week are getting bigger. While their birthdays are scattered, each of them is evolving on his or her own timeline. Boys who used to be anxious about their moms leaving now race in the door and plunge into the web of train tracks. Some of the children are using the bathroom instead of their diapers. All of them understand that if they make a project, they get to take it home. The memory makes it easier to lure them away from the Noah's ark and wooden animals to the craft table. As a group they participate in singing for longer stretches. When we sit down for snack they fold their chubby hands. They cheerfully pick up before circle time, singing the ditty "Clean up! Clean up! Everybody, everywhere!"

But something else has emerged. Grabbing. 

In September it was easy to head off a potential conflict by sweeping in with a second puzzle, or another puppet. The frog was as attractive as the unicorn. But lately no fleet of trucks is large enough to dispel coveting. 

"I want that one!!" is the warning that accompanies a tug of war. Today the plastic hammer and nails became a hot item, even though they had languished for most of the morning. The red silk was the crown of the rainbow pile, and no other color would do. It still works to capitalize on one thing I have over them. My height. I put a few things up high and ended the wrestling match. 

I am not distressed by the conflict, even though it is less fun. It is, after all, right on schedule. Developmentally, kids are supposed to step into the concept of ownership. One little girl has the notion down pat. 

"SHARE!!!" Although it is mostly a directive to hand over the goods. 

Most marriages begin as innocent as a pair of two year olds. There is no need to rubber neck about what someone else has, because you have your heart throb right within arm's reach. But half a dozen years later, discontent seeps in like rainwater in the basement, and suddenly everything else looks more interesting. 

"Her husband brings her coffee in the morning."

"She is more attentive to my stories at a party."

I have an inkling that the grumbling is actually right on schedule. It is part of the sequence of choose freely, doubt, and choose again. When we learn how to resist the impulse to want what we do not have, gratitude for what already is becomes a sweet reward.