An article about forgiveness resonated for me. It articulated five steps to the process of letting go of the emotion that so completely robs us of peace. 

Recall the incident, and the pain it ignited. 

Empathize with the person who hurt you, trying to imagine their feelings.

Altruism comes next, in the gift of forgiveness.

Commit to the process by sharing your intention with others. 

Hold on to it, even when it begins to fade. 

The curriculum in my twins' class is exploring how Hitler recruited young people to his nefarious ends. It is creaking open the notion that even they were victims. Even Nazis had a story. Corrie ten Boom wrote of forgiving the guards that beat, starved and humiliated her while in a concentration camp. Her compassion has oiled the rusty joints of my own resentment. 

There have been several episodes of non forgiveness that clogged up my life for years. The regurgitation inside of me was always, always, always about me. In pathetic repetition I recited to myself in droning detail just how the other person was wrong, why they were wrong, when they were wrong. It was clouded with a hundred justifications about how I deserved to be angry. As if that is a goal worth winning. 

It was in the shift to  trying to see life from their eyes that freed me. In that miracle my vision changed from a mirror to a window.