I have wondered if sometimes anger can be sadness with stage make up on. We side step from the latter because it necessitates being vulnerable, whereas an angry stance smacks of bravado. Angry people have armor on. Sad ones are like a turtle with no shell.

Of course babies take no such detours. Sad is sad and they don't confuse the issue by being peckish. Yet somewhere along the way the two emotions get tangled up like extension cords. If we could manage to unsnarl them it would be less risky to offer comfort.

Sad says "Come closer".

Anger says "Go away."

One time I was furious at John. I forget why. Does it even matter any more? But when I pull aside the peels, it is likely to be grief about a lost connection, or misunderstanding. 

Maybe I can remember that. It might make me braver about stepping into the moment.