My knowledge of history is spotty. What's more some of the spots are small. This week I watched a documentary about the Revolutionary War and Washington's strategy. I was startled by one realization.

He almost lost.

Growing up in the 20th century the outcome of that altercation was undisputed. Every Fourth of July my sibs and I held sparklers with trembling fingers, gulped watermelon and gasped at fireworks spilling in the sky. The United States of America fought bravely against England and thoroughly trounced them. There were hardships to be sure, but being certain of victory they endured it for a few weeks.

The film blew that myth out of the water. A few paragraphs in a sixth grade textbook about bitter cold, scant supplies and bare feet made no lasting impression on me at age eleven. My family lived in California at the time and winter meant you put a sweater on. Washington's troops hovered as near a sputtering campfire as they dared, with freezing winds tearing at their torn uniforms.

When Washington made a bold march on Trenton on Christmas Day he ordered three other officers to attack simultaneously from other directions. Their communications consisted of handwritten letters which did not always arrive. Hence he could not have known that he was the solitary prong of his four prong plan. Their success teetered on an element of surprise which lost some of its zip as the night slipped by. Their gunpowder was wet, their ammunition boxes frozen shut. Hence they charged at the well stocked Hessian troops with bayonets. Yet somehow, things turned in their favor. 

Sometimes marriage feels like a battle. Arguments over money and chores erupt like gunpowder with barely a spark of provocation. The catastrophe is that we think of our partner as the enemy rather than selfishness.

One time I brought flowers to a couple on their fiftieth anniversary. I placed the vase of roses next to three bouquets from friends and children. She invited me to join her for a cup of tea.

"What amazes me is that we made it. We shouldn't have, really, if you look at what we were up against. "

She raised the china cup to her lips and took a slow sip. I waited, not wanting to push her, but hoping she would go on.

"There were days I just wanted to run away. It was so hard."

The silence spoke volumes. As did the hint of moisture in the corner of her eyes. Then she turned to me and smiled.

"Here, I just took a cake out of the oven. Have a slice."