I am jealous.

 

There is pretty widespread support for the idea of brushing your teeth every day. Dentists, school nurses, pediatricians, toothpaste commercials, grandmothers and boyfriends all hammer you with the expectation that you will brush every single day.  There are toothbrushes that play music, wiggle, ding, light up, suction to the mirror and clap their bristles. There are musicians who have dedicated whole songs to it.

 

"You wake up in the morning it's a quarter to one, you want to have a little fun, you brush your teeth...... you brush your teeth..."

 

I had a dentist who took the tactic of instilling fear. Strategically placed at eye level when you were captive in the Chair, was a graphic picture of advanced periodontal disease. One of my more sensitive daughters had nightmares about it. He figured an hour of that ghastly threat would jolt anyone into hyper brushing.

The result is, of course, that there are a boat load of healthier teeth walking around. I like that there is less pain. 

I dream of the day when there is the same expectation for marital hygiene. What if the conversation filler "What is your job?" was supplanted by "What have you done for your marriage today?" What if people got reminders from their ministers, mentors and grandmothers to take a marriage class or go on a retreat every six months? What if the next inquiry of nephews during that awkward silence at the Thanksgiving table after "What do you want to be when you grow up?" was "So what kind of marriage are you hoping for?"

 

There is a place for planning your economic future, and we enjoy the lofty answers of five year olds. There is value in dreaming about your marital future as well. It is a focal point to my twin's  prayers each night.

 

"Dear Lord.... help me to be a good wife, and shun adultery, and be a good mother and have a good husband..." It is part of the no-breath-taking-run-on-sentence including "Thank you for your songs and stories..."

 

I can hear the words in my head to the foot tapping jingle.

 

There could be a boatload more healthy marriages walking around. I like that there would be less pain.

 

Photo by Chara Odhner