Last week two policemen startled me by knocking on the door. There had been reports of a boy yelling loudly and they wanted to know if anyone was shouting for help. Ben was sitting quietly at the computer. 

"No, everything is fine here. Thanks for checking." I saw them walk up and down the street for half an hour. John called in a panic when a neighbor said the police were canvassing the neighborhood. 

If the officer had come calling any afternoon between President's Day and early August, however, the answer would have been an exasperated "YES!"

Ben has changed. I no longer feel the need to go to anger management workshops, or twelve steps, or behavioral conferences. The concerned face of a man in blue brought that miracle into sharp focus. 

The task in my marriage group this week is to explore our gratitude for change. I notice that I often behave as if the people and circumstances around me are the ones that need to morph. Not me. But if I am honest, I have changed too.

There is a relationship that I was worked up about a year ago. But after months of prayer, and a loosening in the joints of my arthritic stance, things are more pliable. Softer. The need to make them wrong has expired.

One blessing I have found from this invitation to self reflect is that there is a reservoir of energy freed up for more vibrant ways of living.