I visited a friend the other day for lunch. We laughed about our sagging bodies, and the plans for our upcoming high school reunion. 

I noticed a picture on her mantle.  It was of her family at the beach, and included a few spouses. Then I remembered. One of them had recently divorced. 

"Does it hurt to see that photograph?" I asked gently. 

"I wondered if my daughter would want me to take it down. But she said no. She does not want to pretend that their relationship never existed, or that they had never loved each other. So I left it up."

I was silent, and let her thoughts carry her over the past few months. Maybe it was like a child who died too soon. Would it make the pain any less to not have reminders? 

Someone whose marriage ended told me that people avoided mentioning her anniversary as if the omission would spare her feelings. But the day was always hard for her, and she wished there were a way to honor what they had once had. They have beautiful children that they both adore, and their marriage had once been a source of great joy. 

The next year on her anniversary I remembered to call and ask how she was doing. Maybe she felt less alone.