One time I was at a park with another family. Our collective kids were at the other side of a baseball field and I could not hear their conversation. I remarked to my friend about how sweet it was that our children got along well.

"See them over by those trees? It sure looks like they are having a great time."

On the way home I asked about it. Their answer surprised me.

"They were really mean. They kept making fun of the other kids playing basketball and we told them to stop but they laughed at us."

Apparently things are not always what they seem at fifty paces. 

It is easy to see a couple walking along the beach and fill in the blanks.

"They are so in love. What a perfect couple." Maybe. 

Last week John and I were singing for a farmer's market and the forty minutes before we switched on the mikes were, shall we say, stressful. Having lent the van to our daughter who is moving, we piled into the other car to leave. When John turned the key the engine did not even sputter. It did not seem reasonable for us to walk carrying two speakers, a guitar, a keyboard, ropes of cords, amps, mike stands and music stands, so we begged to borrow our other daughter's car. She was only taking an art class and could carry a paintbrush. Our equipment did not fit in her compact car, making it necessary to drive with the door hanging open. But I have always had an affinity for such scenarios since my grandmother continued to drive her station wagon full of twelve children long after the door fell off, back in the twenties. We made it to the market without anything falling out of the car, and stopped bickering long enough to plug everything in. Probably we looked like a harmonious couple to anyone who had not heard the accusations packed into the previous half hour.

But things are not always what they seem at fifty paces.