This morning went well. You might not be impressed but I am. Things with Benjamin have left me feeling like a rug. Walked on. I have been quick to heave all the blame on him but this weekend I started reading a parenting book about good boundaries. After a few chapters my layer of ice began to melt and I was able to see that I am part of the problem. I contribute to a dynamic of me dancing around him like a Golden Retriever puppy.

"Ben, here is your toothbrush!"

"Ben, I'll put away the cereal box for you."

"Ben, only five more minutes, hurry!"

But today I put getting ready on him. With minimal calm suggestions which will recede over time he made his own breakfast, cleared the dishes, packed his lunch and got his coat. 

Did I mention that he is seventeen?

Before you snicker behind your hand at me let me assure you that I am doing enough self recrimination to make my index finger look like a dandelion stem. Our own patterns are ridiculously hard to see. Sort of like your own shadow when you are flying. 

There are marriage books that can provide an objective perspective as well. How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It is one. Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is another. You can have a copy of either winging toward your front door for less change than is currently under your couch cushions. Or at least my cushions which you are welcome to raid. I'll never miss them. 

But you may need to have enough footprints on your back to be willing to listen.