A woman was describing a small mistake she thought she had made. As it turns out nothing was actually her fault, but she noticed her knee jerk response of self blame. 

"I always get the day or time wrong. Why can't I get it straight?"

She called it the second arrow. First is the misstep. Then is the compunction. 

The other day I mentioned to a friend that I feel guilty about the fact that I have not done a Couple's evening out since the week before Christmas. She reassured me that it is alright if I wait a few weeks. The conference took a lot of work. 

Just having her say that felt like a shield against the second arrow. 

Sometimes in the afternoon I sit in a sunny spot reading and my eyes just flutter closed. If John is home he will quietly drape a quilt over me. It is a small gesture but it protects me from the second arrow. First I am a sleepy. Then I am a slacker for being sleepy. 

What a sweet chance marriage affords us to protect each other from the second arrow.