Every year at the marriage conference I have anxiety about returning the classrooms to order. I can pick up trash and move chairs, but the smartboards scare me. They turn off and on of their own volition, and tease me with their blinks and flashes. When I sub during the year I feel like a fool trying to turn on the powerpoint so carefully prepared by the teacher. If the kids didn't help me it would never work. 

It is easy to assume that I am the only one who is intimidated by them. Even with a graduate degree and enough macs in my family to keep us all wired, I still don't feel confident about technology. But I plug away, trying to turn off the monitors and return the remotes to their tray. 

Last week as I was finishing up a teacher mentioned that she is still confused by her smartboard. I was surprised. She has had it in her room for four years and still she is learning. Suddenly I felt less like a doofus. 

I wonder if many people have the same illusion around their marriages. Everyone else knows the ropes, but them. All the other couples have figured out how to live cooperatively with no blown fuses. 

There was a story on the radio about a person who prepares the food for movies. A recently released one about sandwiches went to great costs to make them look delicious, take after take after take. They estimated there were 800 sandwiches in the production of the film. 

It didn't matter if they were edible, or delicious. The culinary artist could make a gorgeous slice of cake out of styrofoam. They only had to look good. 

Sometimes we fall for the illusion that everyone else's relationship is yummy. 

But maybe there is a slab of styrofoam under the whipped cream.