After church the minister invites people to make comments. There are the reliable regulars who often have something to say. Usually it is thought provoking or touching, making the entire service more human for me. 

Last week the minister spoke about handling stress and asked what things make us feel anxious. Ben's hand shot up. 

So did my heart rate. It is hard to decipher his usually distracted demeanor and I questioned whether his words would be on topic. Autism has a way of relating everything to one or two pet subjects. Would he mention his favorite songs, which currently are Bridge Over Troubled Water and O Precious Sign? Would he comment on his birthday party the night before? It had been a fun evening, with three of his sibs and three friends joining us for dinner at a local cafe. My favorite moments during dinner were when the waitress offered to take a picture and I asked him to lean in. He did. Face to the table. Then when we were telling one of his friends how clever he is at factoring, I mentioned that he had written in to Askme.com to include the question that keeps him riveted. 

"What are the factors of 14,336?"

I invited him to tell us now. He put a hand on my shoulder and cocked his head.

"It's a lot."

But here at church he was about to have the floor. The minister called on him.

"When the internet goes down. Thunderstorms. When the power goes out."

How about that. Right on target. That is what stresses him and he was able to say it out loud to a hundred people. I almost burst into tears. 

Some people have trouble articulating their feelings. It can take years for them to even find the words for what disables them about large groups, or sudden changes in plans. One woman grabbed a teachable moment with her spouse. 

"You know how you feel when I ask if you want to go on a roller coaster? That's how I react when you beg me to go to a big Christmas party with gobs of people I don't know."

Perhaps the miracle is less that we manage to keep fumbling along despite all of our unpredictable reactions to the roller coaster that is life, and more that we have someone who invites us to lean in anyway.