There is a story in the Bible that has long irked me. The Children of Israel were forbidden to touch the ark carrying the Ten Commandments , but only to support it by the poles on their shoulders. A man is transporting the ark and when it slips he reaches over to catch its fall. But in doing so he is struck down dead. It seemed unduly harsh.

But last week a friend explained it to me. When we take responsibility for what is actually God's job, we are pompous. Holding the poles on our shoulders is like bearing the weight of obeying the Ten Commandments without being in control of the outcome. 

A light went on as she said this. 

I promised to raise my children, and be faithful to my husband. That is my end of the deal. But how my adult kids lead their lives, and the appearance of my marriage are not within my purview. To believe I am in charge of those things feels pompous. 

I have heard that story many times over the years and for the first time it does not make me mad. Rather I feel relieved of a job that was too big for me anyway.