The other night I got home from creating a display of quilts to sell at a local cafe. The trash cans stood empty by the side of the road and I decided to bring them in before I forgot. In my arms were four of my most beloved quilts that did not fit on the walls and quilt stands, which I was bringing home until a few sold and space opened up.

As I tugged the dirty bins I had an awful thought. What if I accidentally dropped the quilts in the trash cans, and forgot about them. It was dark and I have been known to absent mindedly put the ice cream in the fridge or the mail in a coat pocket for too safe keeping. A shiver ran up my spine. I love my quilts, and the ones in my arms were the work of many hours. A Log Cabin with purple fairies, a Star with a chicken print, a silk Dresden Plate, and a flock of Flying Geese in hand dyed fabrics all folded and bright lay unsuspecting against my chest. 

This week a teacher told me a story about two of her students. They were on the verge of a fist fight and she did not trust them to go to recess without slugging it out. She decided to forget the prep she hoped to get done in the twenty minute break, and listened. 

"It is YOUR fault that my dad is leaving! You made him mad when you came over and now they are getting divorced!!!" One boy spewed at the other. 

The teacher took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes deeply. 

"Your father loves you very very much. And it is not your friend's fault, or your fault that he is leaving." His shoulders dropped slightly. He brushed the corners of his eyes.

All of the lesson plans of that day became instantly insignificant in the poignancy of this moment. She reassured him again, and they seemed calm enough to go play. 

Sometimes tender things get tossed when marriages fly apart. Precious memories get thrown away or lost. It can be hard to remember that good things are born of marriages, even the ones that die.

Last week we went out with a couple who are thriving. It was amazing to remember how strained their relationship was a year ago. They laughed a lot over dinner, and were quick to offer appreciations of each other. 

I felt enormously grateful that they had not given up when it felt hopeless. 

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