This week at marriage group I noticed a theme. We were talking about personal growth, and one man spoke about how his wife has led him to be less of a hermit. Because of her, they have made lasting friendships, and gotten to know
wonderful people. He looked at her tenderly. It was precious.
Another man described about how his wife helps him to face the hard stuff. He might just blow it all off, but she keeps coming back in
a way that keeps them connected.
One woman articulated how her husband listens to her ramble about her latest obsession... to a point. Then she needs to find someone else who is
passionate about it too. Her husband has a saturation point, and she is okay with that.
All of these couples have been married for awhile. Fifteen, twenty, thirty years of shared life has
helped them to get to a better version of themselves.
There is an article about how we can marry with the expectation that our partner will never change. After a while that illusion no longer fits. But neither should we go into a relationship with a fixed idea of how we are redrafting another person to our own specs. A true marriage entails helping each
other become the person we choose for ourselves, a goal that is perhaps out of reach without a full time cheerleader.
