"5 Foods Never to Eat!"

"Ten Things Happy People Always Do Before Breakfast!"

"20 Places You Must Go Before Next Week!"

"Twelve Ways to Keep Your Kids from Ending Up in Jail!"

"Thirty-seven Sure Fire Ways to be a Billionaire!"

I used to click on them. Now I groan. 

I suppose there is something innate in us that wants a recipe. It works when making brownies. There was the smashing success of 7 Habits of Highly Successful People to evoke emulation. But maybe after chasing down a few of those must-dos, and still stumbling, it loses its appeal. Hopefulness has its limits. 

Oh I will admit I have been known to do the same thing repeatedly, expecting different results. Just this morning I put a load in the dryer, knowing full well that the last three loads I ran did not get past soggy after 90 minutes and I ended up hanging them on the line. But routine is easier than problem solving. 

Personally, my lists are incomplete. Or perhaps I should clarify. Continuous. Yes I worked on five ways to nudge Ben out of a rut last spring, but now that chillier mornings are the norm I am looking toward different goals for him. 

I take stock of my marriage every now and again, mostly again, and give it a go. My current effort is simple enough.

"Listen when he talks. Don't walk away before he is finished. Smile occasionally."

I suppose I keep it modest to insure success. No mammoth goals to render me a loser. But it is working, if by working I mean my feet stay planted when his mouth is moving. Even the magnetic pull of five must dos don't derail me. 

But I am not under any illusion that success at the list de jour will take me to the finish line. I don't actually want to die at 57. Or coast.