There are times I blame the listener for not being able to hear me. Like the day I explained to my child that the reason we were having a birthday dinner at home rather than at a restaurant was because we are careful with money and it made sense to cook with what was in the refrigerator. All she heard was that we are
stingy.
Or the time I told John it was because I love him that I was criticizing his sermon delivery.
"This is to help you do better," I assured him. What he heard was that he is a failure.
There is a sweet
video about a girl who has trouble hearing her father's love. She feels alone, despite the fact that he is there with her. Then he tries a different tack. It took effort, and a
genuine interest in looking at life through her experience. But he did it. The message came through loud and clear.
It is egocentric to lay all of the responsibility for communication at the feet of the other person. It's like the vacuum today. I was annoyed that the suction was feeble, until I got a dowel and poked out the clog of lint and fabric. Suddenly it roared like a wind tunnel. The fault was less with the machine and more with the person who tends to drop
scraps of fabric. That would be me.
We are all vulnerable to issues that clog the channels of understanding between people. There is a person I feel envious of, and it gets in the way of my affection shooting in her direction. Or I hang on to comments made months or even years ago, as evidence that a certain person is not worth my time.
Maybe if I poke around in search of what might be frustrating for someone else, we will both feel
the rush of compassion.
