There are perks to getting together often. But there are also benefits from doing it infrequently. It affords a chance to look back and remember. The couple recalled the stresses they pummeled through in the past twelve months and realized that the frenzy has subsided. Grad school is over. Debts are no longer looming. Their living situation is about to change again to a brighter apartment, closer to friends. Job security has increased. Recently they found new ways to be creative, a luxury that slipped through the cracks last summer.

We did not offer to chip in for their loans, or lug cardboard boxes. Those are good things to do, and there are other people in their lives who step up to those challenges. But we gave them our full attention over coffee and sandwiches. 

I still hold tenderly a visit with an aunt and uncle who cared about us in our early marriage. We were struggling with one of our kids, and they listened in a way that conveyed trust. Not trust in us, particularly, since we were doing more stumbling than walking. But trust that even our flaws were stepping stones on the path. 

They were right, after all. We have regained our balance, and the anxiety can no longer find purchase. While they never offered to babysit, or bring a casserole, their presence at a time of uncertainty helped us regain our footing. 

Perhaps there is a couple or a young person you have been meaning to catch up with. Maybe they would benefit from an hour in your presence. 

The exchange might even last longer than the sandwich.