The girls are fast approaching their teens and are crystallizing ideals around marriage as a precious goal in the distant future. We paused a couple of times to talk about issues that came up, like friends who encourage you to quit. Hope was curious about the book The Love Dare and I told her I have two copies on my shelf. 

The first time I saw it I was mad at the wife Catherine for not responding more quickly to her husband Caleb's efforts to reconcile. 

"He brought you flowers, can't you be nice?"

But eventually I realized that real change takes time, and rebuilding trust cannot be fast tracked. The reality is that Caleb only did it as a token effort to check off the tasks, not out of genuine love. I get it. Sometimes I ask the kids mid afternoon if they are hungry. Maybe I sound like I am being magnanimous but actually I am secretly wishing they will say "no" and I will be off the hook. But I get points for offering. 

One of my favorite scenes is when Caleb has shifted to being a faithful husband regardless of her response. He is riding the truck with a smile on his face that cannot be bought with tit for tat scoring. Caleb has found peace that cannot be stolen away even by Catherine. 

As we cried through the last few scenes, I cherished this moment with my girls. I am enormously grateful to the people in a small Georgia church who set out to make a marriage movie. The cast is made up of members of the church plus one professional actor. We love knowing that in the scene where they finally kiss it is not the actress playing the part. They flew in the actor's wife.

Their efforts have given me and my girls a picture of what it looks like to be fireproof. 

p.s. There is a list of marriage friendly movies on the website under the tab for Mentors Ideas