There is a
woman who makes teddy bears out of the uniforms of fallen soldiers. It helps her heal from the loss of her son. I have made quilts for people who have lost someone too soon. It is a way to hold them in your empty arms. One was a pastel quilt with pockets for stuffed bears. The baby was named Ezekiel and lived only a few hours. There are patterns for turning men's ties into a quilt and I know several widows who have done
that.
Several companies make
sweet remembrances for families who have lost an infant, through stillbirth or miscarriage. One I gave was a wind chime, and the card said that every time the family heard it ring it meant their child was laughing in heaven.
Saying goodbye before you are ready hurts. It leaves a
hole that gapes like a wound. One woman told me she knew she had made progress when she went about her day until ten am before she thought about her son. He had been gone a year.
A small thing those of us left standing can do for those who are finding it hard to keep walking is to remember with them. Calling on a birthday or anniversary can put one shovel full of soil back in the hole.
"Today is the day your husband died, isn't it?
How many years is it? I just wanted to say I am thinking of you. Would you care to tell me a story about him?"
John and I used to visit widows on their anniversaries, and it was precious to look at their wedding photos and hear them reminisce. Maybe we could do it again.
