This article describes the power of humor to diffuse a difficult situation. On occasion our children appear at the right moment to break a stand off. Once John and I were arguing about something insignificant, and looked out the window to see Ben, age 5, mowing the lawn with a vacuum cleaner hose. At the time his favorite garb was a flannel shirt, white cotton batting around his neck like a beard, a red Santa hat and boots. It was August. Autism seems to deflect any messages about body temperature before they arrive at the brain. Bickering suddenly seemed like a very low priority to both of us. 

We know a couple who uses a foreign accent when they disagree, just to keep it light. 

"Daaaaling, I tink it would be maaahch bettah to go to da paaaaty late, and put da cheeeeldrin to beddie bye fuuurst."

Another possibility is to make a goofy face, right when you are nose to nose in a pickle. 

One of my sons and I had a tactic of tickling as an icebreaker. It was a great combo of touch, playfulness, and release. 

There is a scene in the movie Ever After where Nicole and the prince are captured by a band of gypsies. It looks like there will be bloodshed, but Nicole demands to be released. The gypsy leader says she can escape with anything she can carry. Staunchly she walks over to the prince and throws him over her shoulder. Laughing, the gypsies give them both their freedom, and invite them to share a firelit dinner.