"Today was terrible! You shouldn't have gone!" One child vented her anger.

"Daddy didn't let me go to Annie's house, even though I told him I had too. He is so mean, and so are you for going." Her daughter slammed the door on her way to her room. 

My friend looked over at her little boy, who backed off from the turmoil.

"I missed you, Mommy." His eyes welled up and he wrapped his arms around her leg. 

She nestled his head into her neck and rubbed his back. "I missed you too."

Why was he so easy to love? 

On some level she knew that her other children loved her, and although she could not access it now, she loved them too. 

Many of us cling to the misconception that scolding people will coerce them to do precisely what we want. Even after a long trail of failures, we keep trying. 

Twenty years ago one of our sons stole two things he could not use... John's alarm clock and his wallet. My mind jet packed to the conclusion that he was headed for a life of crime, but after prayer I realized why he did it. John had been traveling more than usual, and our six year old figured out the best way to keep Dad home. 

There was an embarrassingly long period in which my response to John coming home late was to yell at him. But the underlying truth was that I was scared. I didn't want to lose him. 

What kept me from saying a message that would have been much easier for him to hear?