Our culture is big on progress. Advanced degrees, climbing the social ladder, or being upwardly mobile are all seen as good directions. Yet for many of us, the same old problems are as perennial as the grass. We lose our temper, or criticize, or overspend no matter how many times we resolve not to.
A friend sent me an
article about a four step process called RAIN. First you need to Recognize the pattern and your part in it. This involves self awareness through meditation or prayer. Secondly you need to Accept that this is indeed your Achilles Heel. Thirdly you Investigate
Insights about how you came to respond this way, and finally you need to Notice the changes that can follow awareness.
There was a person I had been feeling judgmental of a few years ago. At first I loaded the responsibility on her and expected the change to come from her direction. But after heavy duty prayer I accepted my part in the dynamic. I unpacked the feelings and distanced myself from them, like taking off a too tight pair of pants. Recently I have been
grateful to be less attached to those unhelpful responses. It is a freeing feeling.
One of the quirky things about internal progress is that it is less visible than a new addition on your house, or a trendy hair cut. But it feels great to improve the place your spirit lives, and trim off the ragged edges of unwanted reactions.
