But against logic, there are people with enormous difficulties who staunchly thrive anyway. A plethora of people live with physical disabilities, loss, or financial strains who still find joy. There are testimonies on TED from a woman with cerebral palsy, a man whose neck was broken by a careless driver, two women whose sons's lives were changed by 9/11, one being killed in the twin towers and the other being imprisoned for life for his involvement in the attack. Yet each of these individuals have embraced compassion, and forgiveness, rather than the more predictable path of anger. 

Those people are inspiring for me. Yet I will never meet them. But I am blessed to know people who choose and choose again to show up in their marriages and families despite the messiness of depression, instability, and hurt. 

The illusion is that the absence of grief makes us happy. But the older I get the more I believe struggle is the only path that leads us to higher ground.