A friend referenced a
blog that caught my interest. It described the ways leaders can influence others. One is to pull the authority card. "I am your boss. get it done." Another is to use intellectual persuasion. Evidence based decisions
can plow through resistance and reluctance effectively. "The profit margin rises when you do follow up calls. Pick up the phone." Another avenue is interpersonal influence. "I like you so I will do as you ask."
Although marriage is not a business arrangement per se, there is definitely an element of influence. In some couples one person may behave like a boss. "Do it because I said so." This does not strike me as the most congenial basis for a working relationship but I
suppose there are times John and I resort to it. In emergencies his brain works better than mine and sometimes I just want him to call the shots. Often in the child rearing arena he will bow to my dictate about chores or birthday presents without a fight.
Both of us utilize the evidence based route. "The power bill is through the roof. You need to lower the thermometer and we have to replace the windows."
Perhaps the interpersonal
influence is most active in those starry eyed dating days. "You like ballet? Let's go." "You are vegetarian? Me too."
The blog went on to point out the phenomenon that happens around gender and leadership. The research suggests that when men are successful, both men and women like them. Conversely, when women in leadership are successful, both men and women do not like them.
Huh?
This generates a bevy of questions in my
mind. Why is this? How do married people respond to the success of their partner? What shows up when we are successful in the workplace and feel like we are failing at home?
I don't have the answers by any means. But it makes me want to find a couple who might offer a workshop sometime about the interplay of work and marriage for next year's conference.
