But people find ways to cope. One husband decided to take pictures of himself in a pink tutu, so that his wife could bring them with her to chemo and it would make her laugh. He could not rescue her from the reality of treatment, but he could leave his comfort zone to keep her company. 

It is a sweet window into their marriage, to witness his willingness to support her at a scary time. When we begin our journey as a couple, images of strolls in the crunchy October leaves and snuggling by a Christmas fire come to mind. Fair enough. They are part of many marriages. But the time for Gorilla Glue comes when adversity strikes. 

When asthma left me gasping in the chair, unable to care for our two small children John brought me protein shakes and handled the swirling life around me that was just out of reach. He figured out that the moldy mattress was the culprit and brought home a waterbed. That memory has more staying power than a football field of garnet leaves. 

The messy parts of our sojourn on earth are an invitation to create ways to ease each other's pain. A handful of college students chose to create angels in stained glass to send to the parents at Sandy Hook Elementary School on the anniversary of their loss. A room full of photographers, make up artists and hair stylists collaborated to give twenty cancer patients one second of reprieve from their grueling battles with disease.