Sunday surprised a few people. The barometric pressure dropped as a snowstorm fell throughout the afternoon and evening, making the roads reminiscent of a Slip n Slide. The label "storm" feels like overkill. There was no wind and it was a quiet entry, although the sirens that blared as emergency vehicles ran around rescuing people were not.
Facebook had a lot of chatter. People complained about long detours and congested streets. One woman described a car that came careening through a stop sign and almost nailed her. Other people were stuck behind stranded vehicles. There was a comment from someone who seemed angry not to have been warned.
Two of the events we had planned were canceled, which was prudent. Another still happened but my twins walked instead of us joining the traffic jam.
One of the dynamics was that many people were all experiencing the same difficulty simultaneously. We could empathize easily because no one in a twenty mile radius was exempt. We all have cars and we all like to go places.
Often the weather channel gives us a heads up, and we create strategies. That involves stocking up on food and salting the roads. Folks who drive snow plows gas up and guzzle coffee in preparation for a long nippy night. Then, collectively we survive.
Marriages face stormy conditions too. When the pressure of jobs and kids gets high, people snap. They careen out of control and slam into each other.
What saddens me is the absence of a strategy. In contrast to safety teams who collaborate about school closings and road conditions, few people have any plan for their marriages in inclement weather. They seem oblivious to the inevitability of stormy feelings. Hence their decisions, or non decisions, are more of a reaction than a well composed response.
There are of course strategies to be had. Have a mentor relationship in place. Practice communication skills when the stakes are low. Put marriage group on your calendar when the skies are sunny. Read a book before you need it. Attend a conference to build up your resources. Make a habit of daily appreciations. Have a conversation about how you will cooperate to find help. Spend time with a couple you respect. Pray.
One difference between a blizzard in the clouds and the one inside your house is that the latter happens in isolation. Not only are you experiencing it alone, you perpetuate the illusion by keeping silent about it.
But there are people who will guzzle coffee and plow you out of a drift. Collectively, we can survive.
