There was a significant study of marriage that lasted twenty five years. It taught the marriage education community a lot about what contributes to a healthy relationship. I just read about one that is even longer.
The author of
this article has been following 373 couples, some of whom later became divorced, for twenty seven years. While I am interested in the entire study, I enjoyed the cliff notes published in the online magazine
Hitched. I will condense it still further and describe three attributes of longevity.
When women pray, marriages live longer. It is interesting that the correlation did not show up as strongly for husbands who pray. An active religious life is tied with a strong marriage.
Women need closure after a conflict. Men can move on, and often forget the particulars by the next day but women need a resolution. When that repeatedly is brushed over, the marriage weakens.
Men want less talk about the relationship and more attention. They need a continual stream of compliments, touching, and affirmation. The study suggests that women have more places to find validation, and are not as dependent on their husbands for it. But when men described their marriages as lacking in this arena, they were more likely to end up at an attorney's office.
