I started to feel rather important. Seven people asked me a barrage of questions in the space of time between arriving at the hospital in the predawn hours and when a nurse wheeled me to the curb to go home.
Have you ever smoked?
Do you have a history of high blood pressure?
Any allergies?
When did you last poop?
Fortunately I knew all the answers and the only response I wanted to hide was my weight, but that would have been futile since scales don't fudge. They had procedures in place to protect my dignity, like the curtain separating me from a bustling nurses' station when I got naked and a bag to stuff my unmentionables into.
There was a credit card in my pocket but no one asked for a dime. There was not even a tip jar. It started to feel like the currency was altruism, but that bubble may pop in next week's mail.
The anesthesiologist made sure I was down for the count, so I cannot report on the details of snaking scopes, but the doctor assured me that all is well in the dark corners of my innards. I can boost my roughage and come back in a decade.
Most of the questions are not acceptable in polite company. When my father was dying of emphysema I had The Talk with my kids who promptly started informing neighbors that they should quit smoking. It was delicate explaining that while a medical professional can get away with that, a seven year old is considered cheeky.
I wonder if marital check ups will become routine.
What is your love language?
Does your blood pressure go up when you discuss money?
Any allergies? *
Any past relationships?
When did you last fight?
Yet these particulars impact marriage. Ignorance about them does no one a favor. Check ups with a mentor, or participation in a marriage group go a long way toward tracking vital signs. They even respect privacy.
And many of those services are fueled solely by altruism.
* Allergies in marriage show up as strong reactions to specific words or situations. Awareness of them can enable a couple to avoid unnecessary conflict.
