The police warned them. They said they would regret it. But the people from
Alternatives to Violence Project that took over the worst school in Philly were right. Violence dropped 90% in one year. They removed the fencing and metal detectors. Instead of security guards in the halls there were engagement coaches.
I have never been to Kensington in north Philly, but the drugs and prostitution are rampant. Twelve year olds have seen more violence first hand than anyone outside of a war zone.
Yet someone took a risk. The school whose actual name was John Paul Jones Middle School was transformed by more than a sign when it became Memphis Street Academy. In the neighborhood it was better known as Jones Jail, since it was such a successful feeder for prison.
When kids were interviewed about the changes, 73% said they felt safe without the bars on the windows, 95% said they hope to graduate from college and 100% said they feel like an adult at school cares about them.
It makes no sense. Take down the protection, make yourself vulnerable, and the danger recedes? Yet that is behind the advice offered by John Gottman, when he names defensiveness as a way to erode communication in marriage. Defensiveness is one of the
four horsemen
that gallop into relationships, and sabotage the trust.
It's hard to implement. Callouses don't come from nowhere. Yet the alternative looks too bleak to bear. And you might just find out that someone cares about you.
