The funeral I attended last week was memorable. Special music played for three quarters of an hour before it started, and was sprinkled throughout the service as well. It was a concert with no cover charge.
While I never had a lengthy conversation with the elderly man being honored, I do know his children and grandchildren and great grand children. It was enjoyable to hear stories about his life both by the minister and at the elegant reception. His marriage was a theme, in spite of the heartbreak of losing her over thirty years ago to cancer. He loved her deeply and played her favorite sonatas in the sunset of her consciousness.
The attributes that rise to the top when we pay tribute to a life well lived are distinctly different than the ones that scream for attention when I watch a movie. Although I keep a running list of marriage friendly flicks, the percentage of the total output from Hollywood is infinitesimal. The media is obsessed with bodies, a topic that gets no consideration in a memorial address.
"Our dearly beloved weighed one hundred and six pounds and could bench press a loaf of pumpernickel."
There is a quote often attributed to C.S. Lewis that is probably penned by Walter Miller.
"You don't have a soul. You are a soul, and you have a body."
This becomes harder to ignore as the toll of frail limbs and shortened breath take precedence. But this is a good thing. It is probably harder to vacate a body that still works.
In the waning years we loosen our grip on those bodies, and reach more fervently for crafting our souls. Physical appearance plays a part in bringing us together, but is less adhesive than a post it when we begin to inhabit our souls.
