It was a game changer when the man in this
TED talk sent out letters to electric customers describing the efforts of their neighbors. In an attempt to lower their energy consumption, researchers had tried pleas to save money, protect the planet and be a conscientious citizen. But the resulting loose change would not fill a pink piggy bank.
Then they composed a graph showing the frugality efforts of the locals, and a swath of customers turned off the AC. It seems comparing one's performance to the people next door gets traction.
"Jonesey is using half as much juice as me? I gotta step it up." Residents responded to the suggestion that others were lowering their energy usage, by reducing theirs too.
It saved money, too. Lots of it. Tons less coal was burned, and people changed their lazy ways. Lights in empty rooms were snapped off. Lower bills, and smaller carbon footprint made it a win win.
I try to fabricate ways to invite couples to try a marriage group, or mentoring, or the conference at Valentine's Day. Probably I should borrow my kids' Crayola markers and draw a graph indicating the efforts of the people up the street. But here are a few responses from your neighbors.
- M and J participated in marriage group this summer and their levels of marital satisfaction rose by 35%. She puts it this way:"We were new in town, and these weekly meetings through the summer became mini-dates. We walked to and from the meetings, grateful for the time alone, together. I practiced looking for things to be grateful for. I was humbled by realizations of my flaws, but encouraged by the promise of support through a rough patch. Belonging to even this short-term small group helped us feel more a part of this community."
- J and D have attended the conference for four years. She reports "
It has increased my admiration for my husband because of how he has always made the conference a priority despite the Bishop's Bowl that weekend. Plus the one line from Maggie and Calvin's talk where she described seeing him on the bed and seeing the sparkles while feeling deep love and hearing the words, 'If you do the work...' That moved me so much."
- Regarding marriage moats A says "Thanks, Lori. Powerful words, and a beautiful perspective. I love the images of standing on a fault line, and picking up discontent like a broken dish- that's so how it feels. Thanks for the reminder to dwell in gratitude"
- D had a response to moats as well. "THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! You make me think, reflect and want to be a better person....I am eternally grateful for how you have touched my life so many times with your marriage moats :-)"
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T and S participated in mentoring and they have experienced a 20% power surge. Says T, "Having a mentor couple gives me such comfort. Hearing about their life struggles puts my life into perspective, and helps me remember that our marriage is totally normal, precious and beautiful."
- Another couple says this of mentoring."The Marriage Mentoring program has been a safe haven for me. It has helped my husband and I stay connected to the truth that any hardship that comes up in marriage is within the Lord's providence to bring us closer, making us able to connect to each other more wholly and deeply."
Maybe we can prevent a few marriages from having a brown out.
