A friend sent me a link to a talk called
iMarriage. Andy Stanley is the speaker and makes a great illustration about the expectations that flood new marriage. It is easy to latch on to his examples, and remember the eight foot I. Selfishness is certainly an enemy to the good of marriage, and gets in the way.
But while I agree with the first eight minutes of his monologue, I part company for the last five. He asserts that commitment to the marriage itself is a mistake. We must be loyal only to the person.
That does not resonate with what couples tell me. When things get choppy it is the tether to the marriage and to God that is their only lifeline. One man said it concisely.
"On good days I love my wife. On hard days I love my marriage. On bleak days I try to just love God."
Probably Andy does not care if I disagree with him. He is considered the thirteenth most influential Christian in America and his church of 33,000 ranks third in the nation.
Besides, we both want the same thing.... strong relationships.
