Zack is usually pretty pumped when he gets home from a game and I often ask him about it. But there was an evening this summer when his answer jolted me. 

"It was kinda scary." My interest level jumped. 

"The other team was really playing rough, and swearing at us. Near the end a fight broke out and the coach had to separate them. He called the game and we left early."

I was glad there was someone there who could prevent the escalation of emotions. 

Sometimes couples do well to have a coach. The other night we sat with two friends who were trying to navigate the tangled feelings around clearing out the basement. Piles of stuff, some trash, some treasure, lay hidden in boxes from the last move. We helped create a structure for them to hear one another. 

We reminded them about The Five Yeses, which they had read about but never actually tried. When either of them went out of bounds, we steered them back. It helped to lessen the tendency to crash into each other. 

They were appreciative of the way it kept them in the game. When we offered to show up again in the future, she was teary with the thought. 

"You would do that?" she asked. My mind did a replay of the stream of people who have helped me through tough spots. Their faces show up in my head like portraits on the wall. All of them are smiling, as if they know better than I do that I will survive the current storm. 

"Yes, we would," I reassured them. 

I hope she calls.