There is an organization that has my respect.
Retrouvaille is dedicated to helping shattered marriages be whole again. It is fueled by couples whose covenant was holding on by a thread, and who found each other again. I am hoping to have representatives from the organization speak at the Marriage Conference in February. Although it can be helpful to hear from people whose marriages float above a nine, with an occasional dip to seven, it can also widen the gap when your own is slogging at negative two.
I remember when our parenting was painful enough to push us to attending
Tough Love.
I mentioned this at the time to a friend who tried to commiserate.
"Yeah, my girls are whiney when they clean their rooms on Saturday." I clamped my mouth shut about what was going on at the Odhners. Clean rooms felt like another time zone from what we were dealing with.
What helped me much more was stories from families who had made it. They had at one time been grappling with out of control teenagers, and had found peace. I can still remember where I was standing when a friend casually tossed me the saga of her own rebellion, and how she found her way home. Although it was not her intention to give me hope, she did.
I had the opportunity to retell our own fractured history to a friend whose daughter is flailing. I described the phone call with the woman who took our child in for three weeks so we could all cool down. Mind you it was not our own brilliant idea, but a court order. It was the beginning of a new relationship which is better than I could have dared ask for.
And my gratefulness is magnified by the memory of where we once lay dangling by a thread.
