Last night I heard about a couple that are hurting. I will reach out to them, to see if there is anything I can do. Part of the dilemma resides in our resistance to asking for help. One author suggests that there are a myriad of reasons. We don't want to appear as incompetent, and somehow we internalized the message that asking for help is selfish. Yet for many people, extending support is a privilege. 

Last week I asked for help. Fifteen children between the ages of ten and fourteen, and a hand full of moms answered my plea to show up and help care for the babies and toddlers of young mothers. For a few hours we painted, held hands, ate pretzels, blew bubbles and pushed plastic cars. It was a blast. While I enjoy chatting with a three year old about sparkly shoes, my real buzz came from watching the older kids step up to the task. Everywhere I looked, there were young teenagers letting toddlers draw on their legs with face paint, and middle school aged boys holding hands with adoring toddlers. It is not hard to imagine that these same boys were complaining to their parents as recently as yesterday that "There's nothin' to do." Addicting as video games are, they do not reap the same level of satisfaction as a smile from a four year old who pops out of her hiding place. 

But there is a substantial difference between children and grown ups. Little guys have no hesitation in asking for attention.That is a good thing, because they would soon be extinct without it. But for some obscure motivation, adults feel the need to tough it out, even if it means drowning in their own pain.