Then I realized. I am blessed with the very thing each of them is seeking. Eyes, ears, and a pair of kidneys are mine to enjoy for the foreseeable future. Yet the irony is, I am disconnected enough to forget that the gifts even exist. I think less about my kidney functions than about the clutter in my bathroom. Ears and eyes are my windows to an incredible array of beauty, color, sound, voices, faces. Yet they are so familiar I neglect to give thanks. I am preoccupied with noticing what I do not have.

At a wedding I went to this summer the couple sang a tune about how everything is fine, now that they are together. They meant it. When John and I fell in love we meant it too. Yet somehow our saturation point for gladness slips away, until merely being together is no longer enough. Now we want the car, and the job, and the vacation. But having those the illusive line of contentment recedes like the waves on the beach. We want a newer car, a better job, a dreamier vacation. The wanting pulls us out to sea like a riptide.

For today I will try to step backwards. I will focus my gratitude on what I already have, even the concealed ones like internal organs and a man who comes home every night. 

That is reason enough to cry.