Last night John went up to help the renters on the third floor with something. He noticed that the windows were closed and the fans we lent them were blowing hot air around. We have mentioned that there are better ways to cool off, by putting fans in the open windows at night to bring in fresh air. But they nod and do it their way. They are the ones who feel the repercussions, so we do no more than suggest options. Maybe they like it hot.
We on the other hand have a routine, of setting up the air flow every night on the first two floors. It is not so much a decision as habit. Our brains are not at optimal strength by bedtime in a heat wave. We follow a plan construed under better thinking conditions, and follow through out of habit.
There is a couple we are trying to support who are struggling. Their tempers heat up and they blow hot air at each other. We have suggested they join a marriage group, or attend a workshop, but so far they have resisted change. In our experience opening up in a small group can bring a draft of fresh perspective.
The other night was marriage group. We went less out of a conscious decision than habit and I was refreshed even before I opened my mouth. Hearing about someone else's life, with newly licensed drivers and extended travel for work, I felt less stuffy from my own complaints. We laughed. We drank cold water with lemon. Somehow the day's ordeal with Benjamin locking me out of my own phone using limited access, and the resulting hours John spent trying to unlock it, loosened. Instead of anger, I felt the humor of it all. A setting designed to protect my phone from my children had been turned to protect it from me. He may have autism but he keeps life interesting.
I think I will suggest the idea to that couple one more time. Maybe they like it hot, but then again maybe they would be blessed by a crisp vantage point.
