The other day I did a favor for someone. It had taken me most of an afternoon and set me back a few bucks. It was neither Herculean nor dangerous, but I had anticipated a basketball sized helping of appreciation.
Instead I got a thank you that would fit on a quarter. I felt resentment swell in to fill the vacuum. Hadn't he noticed the effort I had put out, or the willingness to push aside my other responsibilities?
John cam home and asked about my day. I grumbled a bit about the gaping hole where gratitude was meant to have settled.
"Well, I appreciate you doing it," he offered. He wrapped his arms around me and I sighed like a beach ball being deflated.
Suddenly a remembrance of the scene in
Babe sprang into my head. Whenever the remarkable pig succeeded in shepherding a flock of lambs, the farmer of few words nodded.
"That'll do, Pig. That'll do." The pig melted under the wash of acknowledgement.
I felt sheepishly like a pig.
I need, or maybe it is merely want that nod and blessing. Many times it comes from the beneficiary of my actions, but other times it does not. Certainly in twenty two years of changing diapers I was never thanked by the baby. Fortunately I did not expect it. But I did on more than one occasion ask John for a dose of hoopla, which he was quick to give.
After wallowing sufficiently in my self importance, my mind drifted to an awareness of people who have been generous to me. I thought of the times my parents let me bring home a car load of college students, whom they fed and bedded down without complaint. I wonder if I thanked them.
Then there was the couple who put up, or should I say put up with our family of five when we moved to Albuquerque and John was job hunting. My emotions were preoccupied with the needs of three small children and an unemployed husband. Probably I was less than effusive with our hosts.
I recall the treasurer who handled the rent for the manse in California. I thought nothing of the fact that he kept it steady for twelve years, and at an amount that I now realize was a fraction of market value. When we bought our current home I was abruptly introduced to the real world. Now we pay more for utilities than we paid then for housing. I flinch to realize how absent my gratitude was.
This morning I feel blessed by the chance to see what a difference appreciation can make. Maybe I will be more lavish with offering it.
