A friend sent me a fabulous
video about the disconnect that sometimes shows up between women and men. We showed it to our marriage group last week and everyone howled. She wants to talk about her feelings. He wants to get the nail out of her head.
I can remember a time John tried to fix the nail in my forehead. I was pouring out my post partum blues to him, and he abruptly got up and went to work. Alone with the babies I cried even harder. But he had proceeded to solution mode. He came up with a scheme which he unveiled that evening. He would take care of the twins while I went shopping. For fabric. After I swallowed my confusion I proceeded to spend money. A lot of it.
But at the time I felt exasperated with his inability to forget the nail and listen to my feelings. He courageously leaped over my distress to a solution. I wanted him to listen. He wanted to solve the problem.
We are more seasoned now. He has learned to stay planted in the chair and do the nod nod empathetic hmmm thing, and I have lightened up on my leash. If he wants to be my hero, that is cute too. He feels better using up pent up adrenaline.
Besides, I do like fabric.
