Recently there was a teenager on Britain's Got Talent who was visibly quaking from nerves. As she walked on to the stage she looked like any shred of confidence she may have had was left in the parking lot. But when she began singing her demeanor shifted to a place deep within the music. Her voice was rich and mellow. When her brief oasis of glory was ended, the audience rose and she was stunned by the applause. I wondered if she had temporarily forgotten where she was.
 
The interesting thing to me is that she is the same person post performance that she was before. Three minutes on stage did not transform her into an alternate personality. Yet the feedback of thousands of people had an enormous impact on her. Is this good? Not so good? Inevitable?
 
People reflect back to us how we appear, and it may be new information. This young girl had no idea she could captivate an entire theater. What happens when we hand the reins to our self assessment to another person? Does that give them the power to decide our worth?

Perhaps one of the tasks of relationships, marriage included, is to learn from others without sacrificing our own ability to look in the mirror.