The server I use to create Marriage Moats changed the rules. They sent me warnings for two weeks which I ignored. After three years of daily messages I had a comfortable routine in place. I have no interest in learning more skills.

Yet the powers that be clearly expected me to be thrilled with the myriad capabilities afforded by this update. They provided videos and encouragement to buoy me through the transition. But I don't want fresh tricks. I am happy with the old ones.

As I write this I am not yet sure if I will figure out how to send it. After all I cannot play a video, make that DVD, in my own home without help from someone under twenty.  I used to be able to, before the number of remotes outnumbered the people watching.

Neither can I understand all the buttons on my microwave. There are too many. When I was a kid there was an oven and a stove. Off, On and Temperature summed up the options. Now I have to weave through Timed cook, Sensor Reheat and Inverter Turbo Defrost just to warm up leftovers.

My obsolescence is becoming embarrassing. Just yesterday my son called, by speaking into his phone rather than the quaint practice of dialing which is a misnomer anyway, to tell me that a package had  been delivered to my back door. This is not because he has a surveillance camera on his parent's house. Oh no. His phone, the one that translates from Spanish to English, gives precise directions to a job in Santa Monica, and makes reservations for his favorite restaurant all without him opening his mouth, sent him a text message. It probably read something like this.

UPS delivery complete. Forecast of showers so it is in a plastic bag. Remind your mom to bring in the trash cans.

I was in my sewing room and did not see the brown truck. But sure enough the package was there, and I opened it. I do not understand what the contents are, although I read the label. Blue Tooth. Who needs a Blue Tooth?

I suppose it is a poignant simile for marriage. It was so simple in the beginning.

"Shall we go for a walk or talk by the fire?"

But through the years we have had to upgrade our skills at inconvenient times, like the middle of the night with two crying babies. Or when the older kids called from Ireland to explain why the rental car was smashed.

I suppose there are probably videos on You Tube to explain it to me. But I cannot find my phone. Benjamin is probably using it to listen to his playlist.