I care about moats. For the past three years I have happily leaped out of bed on most mornings, hunkered down on the couch before anyone else's eyes were open and written a story. There were weeks when I had a handful stacked like dominoes in the queue, while other times the deadline snapped at my heels. But my focus was grounded in the message and photo. Delivery was of little concern. I did wonder if the server would be up and running during Sandy last fall, but they never missed a day. I was impressed.  

However my attention to content has lately been hijacked by the wrappings. While I learn the new protocol, the technical snafus around links and headlines are distracting me from anything interesting I might have to say. I am not amused. Several people reported to me that they are getting no text at all, but only a big red splot. Harrumph.

Actually it is a fitting analogy for communication. When I am naive enough to think that the only factor is the words I say to John, I make myself vulnerable to bigger problems than a moat lost in space. How I deliver the message to him carries weight as well.

One time I told John we were going to a friend's house for dinner. I can make a serviceable case to blockade myself from blame for how sloppily I conveyed the information. But what I remember is he did not feel invited, or valued. Perhaps that is because I informed him in a manner more appropriate for the electric company, informing a customer of a pending meter reader.

"We're going to Smiths. Potluck. Six o'clock. Don't be late."

While John has a generous tether for me managing his social calendar, even he wants to feel like a person. But when I get on a mommy roll, the one that gives me enough gall to accept birthday party invitations on behalf of my kids without consulting them, I lump John in with the four year olds.

I am not sure when I will get the hang of this new format. It is after nine pm and I still wonder if I can attach the photo to tomorrow's moat without tape or glue.

But I will pause to say I am thinking of you. And I hope your love of marriage makes a little bit of progress today.