We met with a couple we are mentoring this week. It has been a few months since we sat down together, the fall out of crazy schedules. It felt especially sweet to finally find a time.

 

As life would have it, John and I had almost cancelled. Benjamin was unruly in the hour before we left, and we were clashing about how to handle him. He eventually seemed calm enough for us to go and we stopped at the grocery store on the way, since the kids had nothing for breakfast the next day. We rarely go shopping together anymore, since the prevailing tactic has been Divide and Conquer. He puts Ben to bed, I tuck the twins. If he cooks, I do dishes. We seem to have lost track of the steps of cooperation. But as an anomaly we were in the store simultaneously, less prickly than we had been but still not holding hands. 

 

When we stepped through their door, they were still giving final kisses to their children. We picked up a few toys, and I savored the pictures of their children on the walls. After a round of check ins, we shared some appreciations, and I suggested they try The Five Yeses. She made a statement, and he asked questions. The format became secondary to the curiosity that emerged from her responses. They were able to navigate a vulnerable topic with gentleness and laughter. 

 

"I had forgotten how it helps to talk to each other with a witness." He spoke to us. It was a blessing for us as well, simply to hold the space for them. 

 

"If you weren't here I would be running around cleaning up until I fell into bed exhausted." She seemed grateful for a reason to let the clutter be. 

 

The hour had slipped by and we rose to leave. We hugged them, taking the scent of their sweet relationship with us. As we drove home any further rehashing of the Benjamin issue seemed irrelevant. I thanked John for his willingness to come. He thanked me for making it happen. 

 

Four people and two marriages were blessed in that wink of time.