Marriage Moats-Make a Plan

Published: Mon, 05/06/13

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

I sew with little girls. Before every class I get the machines primed and ready for novice sewers who can be a tad hard on them. I speak softly to the Singers and flatter the Kenmores, asking them to do their best. But by the end of class there is usually at least one machine jammed or benched by a broken needle. I hustle to pack them back in the closet, restack the fabric that finicky kids have strewn around the room, and hunt for stray pins in the carpet.

After a month of this I had to address the shrinking number of available machines. I asked John if he would meet me in the Lunch Bunch room to help. He has a long history of restoring Featherweights.

I hauled them to the tables before John arrived. Armed with a pack of fresh needles I babied them, rethreaded them carefully and adjusted the tension. John showed up and asked what was wrong with each one. After an hour I happily put the six refurbished machines back on the shelf and thanked him profusely.

"Actually, you did most of it, " he mentioned. This was news to me. I guess there were things I knew how to do, and just needed to make the time. Planning for John to come got me over the hump.

"Well, thank you anyway!" I kissed him. Truthfully it was less of a chore and more of a novel way to spend time with my honey.

Something shifts when we get motivated enough to give our marriage a tune up. Perhaps we agree to meet with another couple who cares about us. Maybe we ask for their loving presence while we work through an issue. Wise spouses fit it in before the damage reaches a breaking point.

Photo by Jenny Stein

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